I Do

Yesterday, my mom and Mike were married - congratulations to them! They kept yesterday's ceremony low-key, as it was "just" the civil ceremony that allows their assets to be combined, etc. The "real" ceremony will be in October.

However, in my experience, the "real-ness" of it happens the moment you look into each others' eyes and speak a promise, whether that is before a hippie indian ministress (as was the case for me and Chris) or in front of 500 of your closest friends as family, as is the case for many others. Something about verbalizing the commitment - about repeating the ritual - takes a couple from a committed relationship to marriage.

And being married IS different. I felt different after Chris and I were married, even though we'd lived together, purchased a home together, even adopted a puppy together. Not that our commitment was any greater (or less!) or that we subscribe to that "two become one" baloney, but that solemnity of the promise made in front of someone else had cemented the bond somehow.

In part this is why I find the requirement of a civil ceremony (in order to be legally married in this country) to be a strange one. I heard on NPR once that ours is one of the only countries that gets a say in if a couple is "married" or not. All of this bureaucracy of who can marry - based on gender, creed, whatever - seems to be NOT the business of the government. Perhaps I'm a socialist (!) but I believe that adults are capable of deciding who their life partner should be and should be able to make a promise together without the "blessing" of a civil ordinance.

Clearly, this is a debate that will rage on as long as legislators and American voters have a say in what goes on in the lives of its citizens.

*Stepping off of my soapbox.*

And so, in honor of their union, I share words that were part of my wedding ceremony to Chris for my mom and Mike, and wish them all of the happiness in the world!

"You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. ill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow." -Khalil Gibran

The Week That Was

Another week has passed with out much posting from the Penguin. Sorry! It's been a hairy one...Porter sick, me sick, office move, doctor's appointments, lunch with friends, dinner with friends, dinner with family, painting mom's house - we've had something going every day and night this week.

The horizon is near - I am headed to Jefferson City for a "reunion" with my high school gals tomorrow and then, I think, my week is pretty open. I might have an opportunity to tackle the 40+ boxes of stuff that landed in my new baby-poop-brown cube.

Meanwhile, here are a few links I've been compiling, mostly from Pop Candy. Matt, you can enjoy these after your return from the Wilderness of Boy Scout Camp.

• At least we don't have to hear her utter the words "E.V.O.O." for a couple of weeks
• Take a couple minutes and watch the video of this piece, please. So right on. Tragic, but right on. Can we now PLEASE stop talking about Michael Jackson????
• So, legalizing marijuana - yes, or no? I say, "why not?"
• Linda and Alexis, here's a Rufus Q&A for you...
• At first. I thought this story was hilarious. The longer I thought about it, though, the less funny it got.
• Linda, this blog and this other blog totally made me think of your illustrated journals...
• No reading this one with kiddoes in the room, please. (Thanks Chris, I think)

Okay, the Wii is functioning properly again - gotta play! Have a great week.

Summer Times

What a crazy weekend it was...The holiday kicked off Thursday night with the presentation of my first birthday present: a Wii from Chris! I am very excited. We have long wanted one and it is a lot of fun. We haven't had much time to play with it yet but I have a feeling that we'll beat the long hot days of July and August with some energetic play. Anybody else want to come and play? Linda, send us your Mii!

The rest of the weekend was hectic - 4th of July parade in mom's neighborhood, birthday parties (Louis on Friday and Forrest on Saturday), and golf on Sunday at Hillcrest. We also managed to watch the Wimbledon finals as well as the first two days of the Tour de France in between activities...it's going to be a great Tour!

Porter is slowly recovering from kennel cough, and now only seems to suffer from it when he's excited. Now I seem to have it! Woke up at 3:00 am coughing and have been coughing ever since. *Grumble.* Anyway, Porter's kennel cough means that he does not get to play with Tater and Sammy, who we're watching while John and Natalie are in Ohio with his family (thinking of you, John). We've been splitting our time (and our walks) between houses and spent most of last night at their place, which their dogs seemed to love.

This week will be just as busy, as my office is moving to its new location on Thursday. My office is a mess of boxes and miscellaneous papers, which should make it an interesting place to work in-between. On top of that, we have dinner plans on Wednesday with Mary and Frank, I have lunch plans with a UMKC contact and a doctor's appointment on Friday, massages on Saturday, dinner with the Pretties and Greenspans on Sunday, and I'm going to Jefferson City on Monday. Makes me tired just thinking about it! But it's all good...here's a summer song for your Monday, and hope you had a great Fourth!

It's Not My Fault

Jessica made me post this.

Drawback

I know that there are plenty of people still mourning the deaths of a few celebs recently, but I wanted to be sure that today was marked in my blog: today, the U.S. begins to leave Iraq. FINALLY!

Iraq has declared today "National Sovereignty Day," and thousands have taken to the streets there in jubilation. Bizarrely, this is not the leading story in USA Today. Plane crash, feds intervening in college football, the mistress of the SC governor, bank fee hikes, MJ of course...the Iraq story is 7th, and that headline is "4 U.S. Soldiers Killed During Pullout from Iraq Cities."

Maybe this isn't as big of a deal as I think it is. Clearly, many problems in Iraq persist. There is much work still to be done by their government, and their people. The role of the U.S. in overthrowing Hussein's regime is undeniable - however, that was six years ago. It is time to leave the country to its countrymen and women. Team America World Police: exit stage left.

So, here's the song of the day for you; enjoy!

Fabulous Forty

Today is my sister-in-law Jamie's 40th birthday - Happy Birthday, Jamie!! We spent a great "sibling weekend" in Fredericksburg (her sister, my sister, me, our respective spouses) that provided a fun opportunity to just be together, re-connect and celebrate this wonderful person.

You know how they say "you can't pick your family?" Well, Jamie is family I would pick. When Jamie came into my life, my family was fairly fractured. Alicia was living in France, Dad and Mom had re-married and were in Jefferson City, I was in Springfield, and Matt was in Kansas City. Matt and I barely spoke. There was no real animosity there; we were basically strangers to each other, having lived apart since our parents divorced and he stayed with Dad while I went off to live with Mom.

I remember vividly the first time I met Jamie. Mom and I went to visit Matt in his apartment on Wyandotte (I think it was Thanksgiving weekend?) and there was this willowy, stunning young woman. She had long, coppery brown hair, dramatic glasses and the prettiest skin I think I've ever seen. She was quiet but not shy, and Matt was clearly enamored of her. I'd never seen him quite so taken with someone...I knew then that she was someone special.

The next summer, Matt went to Holland to teach and tour with a drum and bugle corps there and I had moved to Kansas City. When he left, he asked me to "check in" with Jamie every so often. I was touched by the request - "me???" - and happily discovered that she and I were scheduled to take a class together that summer (ugh, remember Energy Science, Jamie???). We forged a fast and easy friendship, bonded not so much by her relationship with Matt, but from a genuine like for each other. By the time Matt returned home that fall, we were pals and Jamie chided Matt for not knowing his sister any better. Thus began a wonderful friendship.

That was almost 20 years ago (!) and I am honored to call her my friend as well as my sister. Together we have survived road trips from hell (MS and OK), innumerable family get-togethers, "Cokes and Smokes," countless rounds of Black Jack Johnny, "gloves off" sessions a-plenty and about a million laughs. She is the mother to my adorable neice and nephew, and they light up anytime she is in the room. Jamie is as beautiful - no, she is more beautiful - as she was the first day I met her, inside and out. I look forward to celebrating the next 40+ years with her!

Here's a song in your honor...and the horse you rode into. :)

These Dreams

I had a very weird dream last night. I often have vivid dreams (unfortunately, too often they are dreams about work - nothing exciting or dramatic, just working at my desk...and I awaken just in time to...go to work) but this one has been hard to shake.

The summer after my freshman year in college was a crazy one. I had broken up with my volatile boyfriend (who unfortunately I later married, and fortunately then later divorced) and was living in Jeff City with my mom. My friend Tena moved in with us (can't remember why) and the two of us worked part time at McDonald's. We had a great schedule - mornings, so we could go tan at the Lake in the afternoons - and basically partied the summer away. I was smoking Capris (remember those!?) and drinking wine coolers in those days, as I recall.

Tena and I dated these two guys, Brian (she) and Travis (me), who worked with us. The four of us pal-ed around together everywhere...nothing serious, no strings...it was a perfect set-up for the summer, like something out of a movie. Brian was the only hitch: he was overly emotional...one of those people who, especially when he drank, poured out his heart, cried even...a real drama queen. We all spent a lot of time propping him up and telling him we'd all be friends forever and blah blah blah.

With the end of summer came the end of the foursome, and Travis and I split on very amiable terms as friends. We stayed in touch even after I got back together with what's-his-name. Suddenly, though, everything changed. I was getting hang-ups on my phone, and my calls to Tena, Brian and Travis went un-returned. Figuring we'd just outgrown each other, I went on with my life, happy with the memories but confused about what had transpired.

The next summer, I was engaged, and went home for a visit. There I ran into Brian and Travis at a party. It was like no time at all had passed - we were laughing and talking about old times...I thought we were having a great time. They were giving me a ride home (my memory is that this party was out in the boonies somewhere) when Brian abruptly stopped the car and opened the door. He pushed me out onto the road and said, "You're a b*tch and we hate you," and the car sped off. I was floored. What just happened? Luckily, another party attendee was passing by and gave me a ride home, and I cried the whole way home. Travis later called to apologize but I still I never got an answer about exactly what had gone down.

My dream was the conclusion of that un-concluded event. In it, we had a big screaming fight, Brian telling me that I had betrayed them and blah blah blah and I awoke just as confused as ever. It's an event I had forgotten, honestly, and not something I will dwell on for long as clearly there is nothing to be done about it 20 years later but still...a puzzle that continues. Weird that it popped up after all of this time...I must be feeling like I done someone wrong, huh?

Well, here's a dream song for your Thursday - one more day to 'til the big 4-0 party!

Humpty Randomness

Here are the random things in my head this week:

• Who clicks on the sponsored ads on webpages? "Lose fat! Lose wrinkles! 57-year old Minnesota woman looks 30 again - click here!" Clearly, somebody does.
• People shouldn't use the words "ass party" during a performance review.
• Where can I go where it won't be 100 degrees outside and 45 degrees inside?
• I think my Facebook "friends" circle has gotten too large. Between my family, Chris' family, my co-workers, former co-workers, high school friends, former bosses, random people from my past lives and friends of my siblings or parents, I can't really post anything without offending at least one person.
• My back is killing me today. I need to rest up so I can play this weekend.
• Everybody needs a good editor. But sometimes it might be better to be un-edited.
• If "John and Kate" care so much about doing what's "best" for their kids, why don't they get off the damn TV and into some counseling? Why do any parents subject their kids to reality TV?? Worse than stage mothers...
• I don't give a hoot about gangsters but I'll go see Johnny Depp's new movie...
• I wonder if my dog is stressed because I am, or if I am stressed because he is.
• Jamie's birthday celebration is gonna be one wild and crazy weekend. I hope we remember to take lots of pictures.

Here's a Wednesday song for your listening pleasure. Enjoy!

My Favorite Dads

I saw a photo in the paper yesterday featuring, "America's Favorite Dads." These weren't real dads, mind you - they were TV dads. The dad from Eight is Enough. The dad from Married with Children. The dad from Two and a Half Men. I looked at the photo and thought, "Huh. I wish there were a photo of MY favorite dads all together."

Like my step-brother-in-law Frank, who is proving himself to be a real teddy bear with his new baby girl Elizabeth.

And my friend Todd, who can send his daughter Sophie into fits of giggles that make my uterus hurt.

And my uncle Rob Bob, who talked astro-physics at the dinner table (one of his daughters even was an astro-physicist for a time, before she became a full-time mommy).

And my Uncle Bobby, sadly no longer with us, who was so tall that when he had his daughter on his shoulders, it looked like she was touching the sky.

And my friend Matt, who has demonstrated that you can have well-mannered kids without breaking their delightful spirits.

And Chris' Uncle Mark, who looks at his daughter Jessie with so much admiration that it makes teary every time I see them together.

And my Grandpa Herman, who had the most amazing belly laugh - his belly actually shook like a bowl full of jelly, which I always thought was hysterical.

And my Grandpa Ronan, who would sit next to me on the couch and hold my hand for hours, even after I was all grown up. He had the best hands...

And my brother Matt, who holds nothing back with his kids - every moment is a teaching/learning moment, a fun moment, a joyful moment. His kids adore him, which speaks very highly of him, if you ask me.

And of course, my Dad, who is at once simple and complex - a man of few needs who I used to think was hard to please. But now I know that he always unquestionably accepted me for who I am, who I was, who I was to be. Like all "daddy's girl," I still strive to please him but recognize (finally) that he is most pleased when we are happy, no matter what that happy should look like. I am a very lucky daughter.

On this Father's Day, I hope that you have a chance to celebrate the great dads in your life. Here's a sweet song to help you enjoy it.

Positivity

A long and difficult week of feeling disenfranchised, unappreciated and kept in the dark ended on Thursday - it had left me struggling to muster the energy to do much of anything at all. I awoke yesterday with the determination to do something to make a difference about the situation (which I did) and then had a lovely evening with friends where those bad feelings simply went up in a quick flash of blue. As I sat on the edge of their pool with my feet in the summer-warmed water, I realized that I could indeed rise above the negativity just by putting it down for awhile.

It's an interesting exercise - visualizing whatever it is that is bringing you down as a physical burden, and then visualizing putting that burden down. You can put it down somewhere temporary, or you can put it away, or you can do what I did and just set it on fire in your mind. Sitting outside watching the lightning flicker in the distance, I concentrated on what was happening right then...listening to our friends' funny stories, enjoying the patterns of light on the pool water, savoring the taste of peppercorn steaks and strawberry pie, feeling warmed by Chris's hand in mine...and the negativity just *POOF* dissipated.

Today feels full of positivity and opportunity. Monday seems very far away. The goal now is to visualize the POSITIVITY and carry that with me instead of the burden...make it my new companion and hopefully share it with those around me who are also feeling blue. There's plenty of it to go around, if I can just remember where I put it.

So, here's a song that I like about making it out of the well...I with you nothing but positivity for your day!